When you want to know if marriage counselling can help in your situation, chances are the answer is yes. There will be some information shared with you here on when to get counselling and who to turn to when you need it. This just may save your marriage!
It can be hard to speak to your partner about issues you’re having if you are not used to it. It’s also difficult to work out problems if you’ve never done it before, or if you think that they won’t take you seriously. Your marriage needs to be about communication, and when you go through counseling you will find out that both of you can learn to talk about what’s wrong or what you want without feeling bad about it. If it always works out to where you’re feeling bad when something goes wrong, this may be the sign of a bad relationship.
In a relationship, there is a certain amount of give and take that each person needs to be aware of. If you take more than you give or the other way around, the balance being off can cause issues that must be cared for. Think about if what you’re doing is fair in terms of whether it benefits you or your partner more. If you are always doing things for yourself and not thinking of the other person in your marriage, it may be time to become more mindful of your wife or husband’s needs.
Marriage counselling can help more if you are able to get it from someone you feel you can trust. You can meet up with the person with your partner or just on your own to screen them, and if you feel like it won’t be a good fit you can shop around a little. Just don’t make it a habit to not get help because you dislike everyone you come across. You may be talking yourself out of getting help by always having a problem, so don’t discount someone until you try working with them at least once to see if they click with you.
Your wife or husband may not want to go to counseling with you because they think it’s silly. If that’s true, you can bring up that you think it’s time for the relationship to be put on hold or that you may want it to end if the problems can’t be worked out. Sometimes your partner may not be aware of how serious the problems are from your point of view. You don’t have to keep staying in a marriage that is making you feel terrible all the time, and they can work with you or you can take a break if you need to and think it’s a good course of action.
There are marriages that are just not savable. You won’t know until you try, but if there are deep rooted problems that have always been there between you and your partner, they may always be there. Sometimes people get married before they really know one another, which is why you need to be absolutely sure when you marry someone that it’s the right choice. But, you can’t do anything if you made mistakes except learn from them and not make them again.
Do you and your partner need to look into mental health services? Perhaps you have a lot of anger and want to get help with that. Maybe your wife or husband has a problem with substance abuse. Getting help sometimes can solve a lot of problems, so try that if you aren’t sure of what else you can do. Sometimes your counselor will tell you they think that’s a good idea, and other times you may come to the realization yourself that you’re tired of feeling a certain way all the time.
Be careful if you have kids together, because it may be hard on them to have to deal with a lot of drama. If you are having a hard time with your spouse, you need to keep the child out of it and just try to keep things as normal as possible on the surface. Don’t go to the child and tell him or her about how bad the other parent is no matter how old they are. It does them no good to have to think about these things because they are not the one in the marriage and they depend on both of you being there for them even if you’re not together.
Some counselors are going to give you exercises or ideas to try out at home. You may feel silly having to talk about your feelings every day or having to do physical exercises together to reconnect, but you really need to understand that these things are what will help the marriage to get to a better place before it ends in divorce. Sometimes there isn’t much left to do, but if you don’t try then there is no hope at all so you should at least try a little to make things better!
Think about how marriage counselling can help when you think your situation is impossible to fix. A good counselor can help you and your partner figure out how to proceed. It’s better to do this now than to wait because the issues you’re having could end your marriage before you know it!