When a couple stands up in front of their friends and family members and declares their love for one another, they are committing to a lifetime of love and support. Unfortunately, as time goes by, the perfect marriage that they envisioned when they said “I do” can start to develop cracks and weaknesses.
Life is constantly changing and evolving. Sometimes, these changes put undue stress on the marriage. Having children, losing a job, taking on new hobbies, moving to a new location, and countless other changes can result in relationship stress. At first, this may manifest as minor disputes or disagreements. Over time, however, the challenges can grow to the point that the marriage itself starts to break down.
Sadly, when this happens, many couples immediately turn to divorce. What they don’t understand is that marriage counselling may be able to help them through the difficult time by teaching them new ways of communicating with one another. Understanding the benefits of marriage counselling can truly mean the difference between saving a marriage or winding up going through a divorce. The following section outlines some of the most important marriage counselling benefits:
1. Better Communication.
Communication problems are often at the heart of marital issues. When couples don’t have adequate communication skills, a normal conversation can quickly devolve into an argument. They may say things to one another that are extremely damaging and that eat away at the heart of the marriage.
Counselling can help address these communication issues, teaching each partner how to talk to one another in a way that is respectful. More importantly, it can also teach each partner how to listen to to the other person. Active listening can make a tremendous difference in a relationship. When you take the time to truly hear what your partner is saying, it is much easier to understand where they are coming from. It also makes them feel as if you respect them. In the end, this can result in a far stronger marriage by keeping each partner happier and more satisfied.
Of course, good communication doesn’t mean that disagreements won’t occur. However, it does mean that those disagreements will be handled in a much better way. Rather than winding up yelling at one another, counselling can teach couples how to clearly state their needs and how to listen to the other person’s needs. Then, together, they can work on coming up with a compromise that makes both of them happy.
Oftentimes, people in a marriage may feel like their partner doesn’t truly understand where they are coming from. For instance, a parent who stays home and cares for the children during the day may feel like their partner doesn’t appreciate all of the things that they do since they don’t have a “real” job.
Alternatively, a partner who wants to pursue a particular hobby may become frustrated if their spouse complains about how much time or space their hobby is taking up. In this case, both partners could benefit from a bit of empathy. The person pursuing a hobby could try to understand how difficult it might be for their spouse to deal with them being gone all the time or with the mess that they are leaving around the house. Likewise, their spouse could try to understand how passionate they are about their hobby and how much it means to them.
Learning how to empathize with a partner is one of the key marriage counselling benefits. It can help each partner in a relationship feel more loved and appreciated. It can also help lead to better problem solving as a couple. When both of you can see the other person’s point of view, it is far easier to reach a suitable agreement.
3. Shifting perspectives.
Oftentimes, when couples are experiencing problems, all that they can focus on is what is bad in their relationship. There may, however, be some parts of their relationship that are working well.
Counselling can help identify the areas of the relationship that are working, shifting the focus from what is wrong with the relationship to what is right with the relationship. By identifying the good parts of the relationship, couples can get a better understanding of what works for them.
This can give couples a new perspective on the relationship. Instead of only focusing on the bad, they may start to notice a lot of the good things that they experience on a daily basis. This can have a snowball effect where one good experience leads to another. Eventually, the entire dynamic of the relationship can change with each partner working to build on the good parts rather than focusing on all of the bad parts.
Marriage counselling works best when both partners are committed to the process. The more each partner puts into the process, the more likely they are to get something positive out of it.
Before throwing in the towel on a marriage, it is worth looking into the many marriage counselling benefits to see if it can help resolve any conflicts. A qualified marriage counselor can help improve communication in the relationship while at the same time making each partner feel more valued and respected. By helping the couple learn better communication skills and teaching them to focus on the positive parts of their marriage, the counselor can help shift the overall dynamic of the relationship. In many cases, this is enough to save the marriage, helping to prevent an unnecessary divorce.