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Does Marriage Counselling Work?

Many people who have problems in their marriage wonder if marriage counselling Gold Coast will actually help them.  There are many horror stories online where people state that marriage counselling made their marriage worse or lead to their divorce.  The problem with determining the effectiveness of marriage counselling Gold Coast is that it works differently for everyone.

Will Counselling Work For You?

The effectiveness of marriage counselling will vary depending on the couple and the therapist they are seeing.  Some couples find that marriage counselling Gold Coast helps to save their marriage while others find that it only leads to their divorce.  To determine if counselling is right for you, you need to consider how open you are to it.

If one of the people in the marriage is not open to the counselling then it is unlikely to be effective.  However, if both people in the marriage are willing to give counselling a try it is more likely to be effective.  Of course, there are a number of other factors that need to be considered to determine if the counselling will actually work for your marriage.

What The Problems Are

A lot of people assume that marriage counselling will be able to help any issues that you have.  However, this is not actually the case and there are many problems that could be too ingrained into the relationship for counselling to help.  If the problems with the marriage have been going on for very long then the effectiveness of counselling could also be reduced.

Ingrained and longstanding problems will often become part and parcel of the marriage and the marriage may not be able to survive any changes.  This is one of the reasons why it is important to get counselling as soon as a problem is identified.  If your partner has annoying habits that you have let slide for years they are going to be unwilling to change because they feel that this has never actually been a problem.

One Partner Has Already Decided On The Course Of The Marriage

There are many marriages where one person wants to work through the problems and the other already knows that they want to end the marriage.  In these cases, there is no chance for the counselling to work.  This is due to one person being closed to the counselling and not willing to work with the therapist or their partner.

One of the issues with this is that there is no way of knowing if this will be a problem until after you start counselling.  Many people feel that in these cases the one partner would not want to go to the counselling session at all.  However, there are many people who find it easier to announce their intentions when they are in the session as they feel this will be safer for them.

Mental Illness And Addiction Can Cause Problems

Addictions and mental illness can put a strain on a marriage, but this is not always something that marriage counselling can help with.  If the addiction or illness has not been treated before the session then there is little that the therapist will be able to do.  They can only offer advice on how to overcome the addiction or recommend that other treatment is sought.

However, it is possible for marriage counselling to help couples when the underlying issues have been treated.  There are many couples that have overcome addiction or mental illness together only to find that there is lingering suspicion in the marriage.  If this is an issue that your marriage is facing then counselling could help with this as the therapist helps you talk about the issues that cause the suspicion.

The Therapist Is Not Qualified

The effectiveness of the marriage counselling will also be impacted by the therapist you are using.  It is important that you choose a therapist that is qualified and have experience in working with couples.  Before you agree to counselling sessions with the therapist you should verify that they are properly trained and have a license to offer these counselling sessions.

The therapist that you choose should also be one that both people in the marriage are comfortable with.  If the therapist makes one person uncomfortable then they are less likely to be open to the counselling or to the homework that the therapist assigns.  If one person is uncomfortable with the therapist then you should ask why this is and look at perhaps finding a different counselor.

It is also important that the therapist that you use is completely impartial.  If one person feels that the therapist is biased then the counselling will be ineffective.  If this is the case, then a new therapist may be needed, but you need to be careful with this as the person could feel that the therapist s biased because they are not willing to admit that they are wrong.

How Can Marriage Counselling Help Your Marriage?

If you choose your therapist correctly and both parties are open to the counselling then you could find a range of benefits in counselling.  A motivated couple will be able to get a new perspective on their relationship.  Marriage counselling will also provide a neutral territory where couples who want to can work through their problems.  It also provides a space where their baggage can be left which is important to create a peaceful home.

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